The mask has slipped

The mask I wear every day, looking like I am fine, has slipped recently. Yesterday it just slipped off almost completely. Spent half hour crying in the bathroom trying to pull it together. Then in the night I managed to get maybe an hour of sleep. I did a lot of thinking during the night and I have to say not a lot of it was what you would call good. At the end of it though, feeling tired and drained I came to the conclusion that something has to change. Maybe I shouldn’t force myself to wear a mask pretending to the world everything is fine? When I thought about why I donned this mask each and every day I began to realise more and more that it was an attempt to protect myself from the judgement I assumed everyone would make about me. Something like “Oh look he …

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Yet another line in the sand

It is time to talk about mental health again. In my case the lack of it. I have been managing from day-to-day but lately my mind has begun to wander. It is taking more and more effort to keep my brain from wandering when I am ‘idle’ outside of work for instance. The problem is that when I get home my mental energy has all but gone. This leaves things I enjoy doing such as maintaining this website, working on my other pet projects and even gaming taking a sideline. I end up just sort of drifting from one night to the next. I know I need to snap out of it so I am going to draw (yet another) line in the sand today and make a more concerted effort to pull myself up. One step at a time.

Times are changing

Slow start to the year in terms of posting. The same can’t be said for work though. Busy both in an out of the office. That is not a bad thing but I do find when I do finally get home or time to settle, I have very little mental energy left. The positive news is that I have actually started a diet, been on it for a few weeks now and it is paying off. Not as quickly as I would like but it is coming off.  Who knows? Maybe I’ll get rid of the double chins soon… 😉 My wife continues to do well despite all the health problems she has. I’m proud of her and continue to be amazed by her strength. One thing that can be said for sure though, this year is starting off to be full of shocks and surprises.  At least it is …

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