Getting stronger

It has been a few weeks since I have been back to work and although I wouldn’t say it has been easy, I am finding it easier than before.  Maybe I am starting to get in the right place?  When things come my way that upset me I have been able to take a step back and regroup a lot easier than before.  I don’t know if I will ever get to a place where trivial things don’t set my mind off on a path that most people’s don’t go though.  It is just that I am able, at the moment, to realise it is not as bleak as my mind wants me to believe. Last week my car decided to pack up which threw a large spanner in the works.  The first opinion was that it would cost more than it was worth to repair.  However, the explanation felt …

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The rise

After what seems like an eternity I am beginning to rise up again.  I started back at work this week and so far I’ve been coping.  I’ve had a lot of support especially from family and friends but also at work too.  It wasn’t easy going back though and it was even harder as the week went on.  I felt I was getting drained quite easily (mentally at least) but I made it.  I am sure it will get easier from here on in.  I moved desks so I am closer to my friends and that has helped a lot.  Lots of banter from Matthew and Annemarie in the office mixed in with Nathan is great!  Chris and Deb chipping in too. I think I’ve managed to take on a different perspective for a lot of things.  Although it is very easy to see how I could slip back.  Sometimes …

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The decline

I’ve been staring at this blank text box for about half an hour now. I have so much to say but I am not sure how to write it.  There may be some jumping around as things come back to me at random.  At least at the moment.  I’ll try my best to edit it into a reasonable reading state though! It has been a long time since I posted.  The usual reasons still apply but this time it has been a lot darker than ever before.  I warn you now.  There are a few triggering subjects within and some things that might shock my friends, family and some people reading this.  I feel I have to do this as a start to my recovery and today being a rare day (so far) for me to have the energy and mindset to do so, I thought I’d best get it …

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