Reflections

Last Thursday was my final counselling session out of the 6 I was allotted.  At first, it was hard to say if it was helping at all.  During the final session though we reflected on everything that had been said, and she helped me realise that I have made progress.  Nowhere near where I want to or even need to be, but it is progress at least.  I am sorry that it is over now, though.  I wish I had more sessions, but it is not to be.  I cannot afford to go private, so I will have to go back to the NHS and back on the waiting list again.  The wait will probably be long, and when I finally get some sessions, it will be with another new therapist.  It will feel like I am starting over.  Again. I’m not sure if that thought was playing on my …

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Terminal Velocity

I’m just going to dump some stuff out onto this new post I’ve been staring at for a while. I feel like I’ve lost my direction in life.  Correction, I don’t know if I have ever really had a direction.  Does anyone else out there feel like they are just drifting from one day to the next with no other goal but to exist?  Some days existing is all I can manage.  Most days lately, at least using my dark perception of myself, I feel like I am overlooked, irrelevant and surplus to requirements.  I could go on by why bother?  I am sure you get the picture by now. If there is a rock bottom, I don’t think I’ve hit it quite yet although some days it feels that way.  All I know for sure is that the way to the bottom seems very, very deep.  I believe I …

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