Unexpected but welcome

Today was a good day for me. There I said it.  The first actual full good day I have had for as long as I can remember.  Of course I am talking mentally here.  Other things are bothering me but these are run-of-the-mill daily life things. Such as my car deciding to quit on me 3 days before it going to the garage etc. I admit it should have been looked at sooner but due to various things happening to me during that period I didn’t.  I won’t go over it but if you’d like some background please go here and come back. You’d think I’d more to write more but my mind is just empty of other thoughts right now. Oh yeah.  I played some Tetris 99 thinking “I remember being awesome at Tetris when I was younger!”  It turns out that was either in my head (likely) or the fact …

Read more…

Getting stronger

It has been a few weeks since I have been back to work and although I wouldn’t say it has been easy, I am finding it easier than before.  Maybe I am starting to get in the right place?  When things come my way that upset me I have been able to take a step back and regroup a lot easier than before.  I don’t know if I will ever get to a place where trivial things don’t set my mind off on a path that most people’s don’t go though.  It is just that I am able, at the moment, to realise it is not as bleak as my mind wants me to believe. Last week my car decided to pack up which threw a large spanner in the works.  The first opinion was that it would cost more than it was worth to repair.  However, the explanation felt …

Read more…

The rise

After what seems like an eternity I am beginning to rise up again.  I started back at work this week and so far I’ve been coping.  I’ve had a lot of support especially from family and friends but also at work too.  It wasn’t easy going back though and it was even harder as the week went on.  I felt I was getting drained quite easily (mentally at least) but I made it.  I am sure it will get easier from here on in.  I moved desks so I am closer to my friends and that has helped a lot.  Lots of banter from Matthew and Annemarie in the office mixed in with Nathan is great!  Chris and Deb chipping in too. I think I’ve managed to take on a different perspective for a lot of things.  Although it is very easy to see how I could slip back.  Sometimes …

Read more…