Lee

Obligations

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I have a feeling this post is going to go through many, many edits.  Even then, I do not think I will manage to get my point across without offending some people.  However, in the spirit of my reboot, I will not hold anything back.  I’m open to discussion about this and indeed anything even if I haven’t posted about it. The debate is healthy as long as it is not hostile. With that out of the way, let’s begin.  I lay awake a night or two ago thinking about the way we sometimes feel obligations to say or act a certain way.  A lot of the time, these feelings come from a good place, but this post is not about those feelings.  This post is about feeling obligated to do something when you don’t feel like doing something.  The kind of things that if you didn’t do, you’d feel …

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Reboot

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Where do you start to put a blog entry together when you cannot even put thoughts together in your mind a lot of the time? I thought long and hard about retiring this blog.  However, I have decided to carry on.  I may have shielded some of the effects of my depression and anxiety on me, and that is mostly due to how I would think people would perceive me.  Both personally and professionally.  The reason I say this is due to the fact I have been treated differently because of my illness.  Not necessarily in a negative way but even the positive differences (for want of a better phrase) make me feel, well, different.  Make me feel somehow a lesser person.  Someone that maybe should be treated like glass.  Yes, a lot of this may well be in my mind since I tend to overthink things (and then overthink …

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Ruts

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I am known to get stuck in ruts at the best of times, so it is no surprise that right now I don’t just feel in a rut but a vast, deep trench.  Initially, when this lockdown started, I was okay and handled it quite well.  I’ll be honest I am not the most outgoing person in the world, and I do thrive on my own company which, when I write that down it does sound pretty sad.  I suppose I should own my introversion.  However, it seems I do have a limit to how much I can stand isolation.  I am finding myself even missing going out shopping.  Some people reading this will be shocked at that, but well, there it is!  I guess I miss just being able to go out when I want. Moreover, even when I do go out to collect a prescription or something, a …

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