Toughest week for a while

Before I start, it goes without saying this blog can be triggering.  In fact almost every post I write has references to triggering subjects.  That being said here goes: A tough week or so for me.  I know I have said that before but this week has been horrendous for me.  I’ve managed to keep it together enough to work but sometimes I don’t know how I did.  At least now I am starting a just over a week break. Some truths to follow which I haven’t shared this week: I have sat crying in the bathroom on more than one occasion. I have stared at a handful of pills contemplating ending things. I have thought about cutting myself again. I’ll be honest with you, if I had more courage I would have done 2 and 3.  I know that might shock some people.  Perhaps not courage.  Perhaps there is …

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Battery is getting low

I think I am starting to feel a dip in my mood.  Over the last few days I’m having to try harder to motivate myself to get up and move.  Not sure what is triggering it this time.  Maybe I am just getting fatigued more easily these days?  I am trying my best not to let it get to me though but it is hard.  I feel like I am running at about 30% all the time.  Always looking to get to the next mile post or the next charging point so to speak.  Not enjoying the journey just enduring it.  That is not how I want to be and for the most part, since I’ve been back, that is not how I have been.  I really hope I’m not slipping again. Recently I began to set up a streaming platform upstairs.  However, my internet upload is currently letting me …

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Back to reality

Not long back from a week away in Benidorm for the Six Nations. It was an amazing week full of sun, fun, banter and of course the odd drink or two!  It was just what the doctor ordered.  I’ve posted some pictures to my instagram (here and here) if you would like to check them out.  There are more on my Facebook too.  We had a surprise a couple of days in when Johnny, Bev and Ibbo turned up unexpected (at least for some of us!)  Johnny was on his usual form and the shenanigans were many and varied shall we say! The day after I came back I came down with a stomach bug of some kind.  Pretty much floored me yesterday and today it is making a little bit of a resurgence too.  Some might say (not me surely 😉 ) that Andrew infected all of us! The other …

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