It has been a few weeks since I have been back to work and although I wouldn’t say it has been easy, I am finding it easier than before. Maybe I am starting to get in the right place? When things come my way that upset me I have been able to take a step back and regroup a lot easier than before. I don’t know if I will ever get to a place where trivial things don’t set my mind off on a path that most people’s don’t go though. It is just that I am able, at the moment, to realise it is not as bleak as my mind wants me to believe.
Last week my car decided to pack up which threw a large spanner in the works. The first opinion was that it would cost more than it was worth to repair. However, the explanation felt a little vague to me and after talking with another mechanic I got a different answer. As it was over the phone though he would have to come out to confirm. He is coming out Monday night so fingers crossed. I’ve only had the car a year and a half and I’m still paying for it so I hope it is not dead! If it is though we’ll deal with it. Suppose that is another example of where previously I would have lost it and withdrew into my shell. Instead I am facing this head on. I’m not saying it didn’t cause me to stumble a little though. Thanks to everyone who has helped with it so far and put up with me begging for lifts etc. You are legends.
I am also starting to get my passion back for things I used to enjoy out work too. I am looking at new technologies again and experimenting with new things software and even hardware related. I am even thinking of setting up a streaming channel properly to have a play with. Although I have not been that great with speaking in front of an audience so speaking in front of an unknown and possibly trolling audience is worrying me a little. I guess I’ll never know until I try.