Out of the gloom

Things were going well for a while since my last post.  Despite that, I should have been posting in the good times, not just the bad.  I do not know why I didn’t. However, that time of things going well was short-lived.  My mood started shifting downwards again and everyday things I had coped with became huge, impassible mountains in my mind.  I began to withdraw. I was hiding in the toilets whenever things got on top of me just crying or trying desperately to snap out of it.  A lot of the time I think it worked.  At least it didn’t appear as anyone noticed much.  Some mentions were made, but I was always quick to deny it. However, I knew deep down in my mind that I could never sustain it.  Looking back on that now I know it was a mistake. The day finally came when, after coming …

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Post birthday reflections

It has been a while since I posted so, seeing as it was my birthday yesterday, I thought I’d make a post today with some reflections.  I’ll try not to make it sound too much like a midlife crisis type post! Firstly, I’d like to thank everyone who wished me a happy birthday yesterday and for the gifts and cards.  I had an awesome day.  Vick and I went to Cardiff and tucked into some food at Ed’s diner.  Even though I didn’t have a voucher proving it was my birthday for some discounts the guy there gave us £15 off the bill which was very kind of him.  Vick bought me some Ghostbusters Pop figures to mostly complete the awesome set.  I’ll be posting some pics later on. I don’t usually look at my birthday as a moment to make a fresh start, but I think it is time.  …

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Mental seesaw

I think I’ve reached a balance point mentally.  Maybe that is wrong?  Perhaps a better way of explaining my current mental state is, although it tips wildly in either direction from anger/sadness to happiness/contentment, is that it returns to the centre quickly.   That is good news.  However, I am finding that my mind wanders quite a lot when I find myself with a little time to myself.  I can’t seem to focus on much or stick with things easily during my free time.  I’m sure everyone has those moments of clarity when they are standing in the shower whereby you have a million and one thoughts flying around in your head, and you know what you want to do with yourself.  When I get out though and cool down from the shower, my motivation and concentration dip to pretty much zero.  I read somewhere that your mind flows more freely …

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