Long night

The last few days have been a roller-coaster.  Last night though the dark clouds were forming worse then they have for a long time and as usual my sleep suffered. It is funny this morning though, looking back on it, as what I was worrying about is really just small things.  Some of which I cannot even remember properly although at the time it was the end of the world inside my head.  Still the dark thoughts kept coming. I’ve decided I need to get myself into more personal projects.  I’m dwelling on things too much when at home and I think if I kept myself busy and engaged as well as stepping up the exercise it should help. The problem is though, the more I feel like this the less likely I am to do these things which in turn would help me to get out of it.   …

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Holiday over

I am at the end of a 10 day break from work and as usual I do not know how it went by so fast!  I went out last night to my cousins 40th party and enjoyed myself despite my anxiety going through the roof at the start.  So I guess that is a win!  Thank you for the invite and everyone who made me feel welcome.  I really should go to social events more.  It does take a lot out of me though so if I seem reserved at times I apologise.  It is nothing personal. Started off with good intentions not to drink which quickly went out of the window.  As my father-in-law would say, “I had a date with the Captain.”  Which basically means Captain Morgans Spiced Rum and Coke.  I cannot drink a lot of beer.  It bloats me too much.  Besides “Rum is the future” …

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Darkness creeps up

Well even after all my good intentions the darkness peaks its head up again.  It sure knows how to pick its moments.  Hopefully I can shake it off before tonight or maybe just going out tonight will shake it off. Perhaps is because I always get nervous getting closer to social engagements?  That is more likely the answer.  However, if I don’t take myself out of my comfort zone I guess I’ll never conquer this beast! In other news I’ve gone back to Warcraft after a long break.  The guild I was in welcomed me back with open arms which was nice.  It was good to get back into touch with old friends.  The guild is for people like myself so I guess I should have not expected anything different but still warm feelings abound at the time!  Now I just need to figure out where I left off.  I …

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