Eventful weekend

Well, my weekend got off to a great start! Woke up Saturday morning with a black eye forming.  I’ve been having nightmares for a while but it has never resulted in me physically hurting myself.  I just wish I could remember what the dreams were about.  All I remember is the sense of dread for a while after waking. This also coincided with a mental health assessment appointment I had finally managed to get for 12 that day too.  So who knows what she was thinking looking at that as I sat down!  The appointment went well though even though I ended up feeling mentally exhausted afterwards.  I always get that way when I talk about things.  Especially to strangers.  It did feel like a kind of release though.  I’ve been booked in for a week Monday for a follow-up and this may turn into weekly or fortnightly appointments. The …

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The pit

It has been a while since I posted and based on my last post you’d be right in getting the impression I was getting better. At the time I thought I was then, not long after I had the biggest bout I have ever had. I had to take some time off work and basically became a hermit.  All the advice was to get out and do things but all I could see around me was darkness. I know that sounds dramatic but it is the only way I can even begin to describe how I was feeling. My sleep patterns were pretty much backwards when I could sleep at all and every waking moment felt like, well, like hell. I couldn’t see a way out. I still don’t know what triggered it and I suppose I may never know. Something just flipped in my head and I just didn’t …

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Tiredness returns

Last night was a waking nightmare for me.  I think I saw almost every hour of the clock.  I felt shattered when I went into the office this morning and wasn’t sure I could make it through.  A couple of cups of tea later, some minor bug fixes and new developments completed though and I was sailing.  Around half 4 I started to flag again but considering the lack of sleep and the random pains I don’t think that is too bad.  I spent the last half hour updating notes, workflows and tickets. I’m glad to be home though, I don’t think I’ll be doing much tonight.  Maybe some games.  I’m thinking of starting to take some vitamins also.  Might perk me up a bit.  I’m pretty sure I’m lacking in some of them.  Any ideas on what is best to try or should I just go for those one …

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