Ever decreasing circle

Never have I felt more at a loss as to what to write but also knowing what I want to write but not being able to express it.  That is a confusing sentence.  Imagine your thoughts being that contradicting nearly all the time.  That is my life right now.  My mind wants to go in a million different directions, my heart feels empty and broken, and my body aches almost everywhere.  More often than not though lately, I want to explode and let rip in any direction.  It is hard for me to write this, but I am lost.  I do not know where to go next, what the future holds and even where I want to go.  All I know is there is no future in feeling like this, but how do I stop feeling like this?  There is no way out.  No sane way out anyway.  I feel …

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Weird feeling

I feel kind of weird.  I could leave that sentence there as I have been staring at the flashing cursor urging me to type something for about half an hour now, and that sentence sums up my current feeling.  I’m guessing that would be a pretty dull read  — the entire second of it.  I’ll try to express what I mean.  I’ll probably end up chopping and moving stuff around a lot, so some of that might show.  Maybe I’ll leave it as it is to illustrate better how much my mind jumps around from concept to concept, thought to thought without any discernible pattern?  We’ll see.  I already know the answer to that, though if I’m honest with myself.  I will re-read this about ten times (at least) before I hit the publish button.  I still get a very uneasy feeling before I post something and I don’t suppose …

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