Ruts

I am known to get stuck in ruts at the best of times, so it is no surprise that right now I don’t just feel in a rut but a vast, deep trench.  Initially, when this lockdown started, I was okay and handled it quite well.  I’ll be honest I am not the most outgoing person in the world, and I do thrive on my own company which, when I write that down it does sound pretty sad.  I suppose I should own my introversion.  However, it seems I do have a limit to how much I can stand isolation.  I am finding myself even missing going out shopping.  Some people reading this will be shocked at that, but well, there it is!  I guess I miss just being able to go out when I want. Moreover, even when I do go out to collect a prescription or something, a …

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Fractured for a while

We are living in dark and trying times.  I have been thinking about writing for quite some time, but also I have been thinking that the issues I am having and the thoughts I am feeling are nothing compared to what a vast number of people are experiencing every day during this pandemic.  I think that writing about my struggles are somehow diminishing what others are going through.  Am I wrong to feel that?  I don’t think so but equally; I do need to talk about what is going on, both out in the world and here in my bubble.  If this post offends anyone, then I apologise.  However, mental health is now more than ever, a topic that must be discussed. Every day I feel a sense of time going slowly but also quickly.  I know that doesn’t make sense.  Maybe it is because every day is just the …

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Sunday blues revisited

I typed in the title for this post and clicked save when the permalink changed it to Sunday Blues-2.  So I changed the title and realised I am not good at making titles and, more importantly, this is not the first time I have been here.  I am here, in this mindset almost every weekend.  Except for this weekend, it has lasted pretty much from Saturday morning onwards.  I’ve been looking at this page for a long time.  The cursor was blinking at me.  Not quite sure where I am going with this post, so I’ll just let my mind wander.  I am finding it hard to focus these days too.  My attention is continuously wandering, and I have to fight hard to keep my mind in the right place.  Working, designing and building things help, but if it gets too busy around me, my concentration wanes. I downloaded the …

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