anxiety

Holiday over

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I am at the end of a 10 day break from work and as usual I do not know how it went by so fast!  I went out last night to my cousins 40th party and enjoyed myself despite my anxiety going through the roof at the start.  So I guess that is a win!  Thank you for the invite and everyone who made me feel welcome.  I really should go to social events more.  It does take a lot out of me though so if I seem reserved at times I apologise.  It is nothing personal. Started off with good intentions not to drink which quickly went out of the window.  As my father-in-law would say, “I had a date with the Captain.”  Which basically means Captain Morgans Spiced Rum and Coke.  I cannot drink a lot of beer.  It bloats me too much.  Besides “Rum is the future” …

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Darkness creeps up

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Well even after all my good intentions the darkness peaks its head up again.  It sure knows how to pick its moments.  Hopefully I can shake it off before tonight or maybe just going out tonight will shake it off. Perhaps is because I always get nervous getting closer to social engagements?  That is more likely the answer.  However, if I don’t take myself out of my comfort zone I guess I’ll never conquer this beast! In other news I’ve gone back to Warcraft after a long break.  The guild I was in welcomed me back with open arms which was nice.  It was good to get back into touch with old friends.  The guild is for people like myself so I guess I should have not expected anything different but still warm feelings abound at the time!  Now I just need to figure out where I left off.  I …

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Opening up

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Hello everyone who may have happened by here.  I’ve decided to create a blog to share my experiences with depression and anxiety which I have suffered with for years.  It won’t be all doom and gloom though!  I am looking to make some changes in my life and health.  For a start I need to lose weight.  I’ve gained lots over the years.  My doctor tells me that it is related to the depression which to some extent it is I guess. So, starting from today I am making a start, a proper start (I’ve tried before in a less than committed way) to lose weight and get fit.  I have been making some strides in the last weeks but nowhere near enough. Time for a little background – I’m a programmer by trade and enjoy creating software to solve problems.  I think the order it brings to chaos is …

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