anxiety

Reboot

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Where do you start to put a blog entry together when you cannot even put thoughts together in your mind a lot of the time? I thought long and hard about retiring this blog.  However, I have decided to carry on.  I may have shielded some of the effects of my depression and anxiety on me, and that is mostly due to how I would think people would perceive me.  Both personally and professionally.  The reason I say this is due to the fact I have been treated differently because of my illness.  Not necessarily in a negative way but even the positive differences (for want of a better phrase) make me feel, well, different.  Make me feel somehow a lesser person.  Someone that maybe should be treated like glass.  Yes, a lot of this may well be in my mind since I tend to overthink things (and then overthink …

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Ruts

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I am known to get stuck in ruts at the best of times, so it is no surprise that right now I don’t just feel in a rut but a vast, deep trench.  Initially, when this lockdown started, I was okay and handled it quite well.  I’ll be honest I am not the most outgoing person in the world, and I do thrive on my own company which, when I write that down it does sound pretty sad.  I suppose I should own my introversion.  However, it seems I do have a limit to how much I can stand isolation.  I am finding myself even missing going out shopping.  Some people reading this will be shocked at that, but well, there it is!  I guess I miss just being able to go out when I want. Moreover, even when I do go out to collect a prescription or something, a …

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Fractured for a while

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We are living in dark and trying times.  I have been thinking about writing for quite some time, but also I have been thinking that the issues I am having and the thoughts I am feeling are nothing compared to what a vast number of people are experiencing every day during this pandemic.  I think that writing about my struggles are somehow diminishing what others are going through.  Am I wrong to feel that?  I don’t think so but equally; I do need to talk about what is going on, both out in the world and here in my bubble.  If this post offends anyone, then I apologise.  However, mental health is now more than ever, a topic that must be discussed. Every day I feel a sense of time going slowly but also quickly.  I know that doesn’t make sense.  Maybe it is because every day is just the …

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