mood

Ever decreasing circle

Never have I felt more at a loss as to what to write but also knowing what I want to write but not being able to express it.  That is a confusing sentence.  Imagine your thoughts being that contradicting nearly all the time.  That is my life right now.  My mind wants to go in a million different directions, my heart feels empty and broken, and my body aches almost everywhere.  More often than not though lately, I want to explode and let rip in any direction.  It is hard for me to write this, but I am lost.  I do not know where to go next, what the future holds and even where I want to go.  All I know is there is no future in feeling like this, but how do I stop feeling like this?  There is no way out.  No sane way out anyway.  I feel …

Read more…

Not a great day

The darkness is starting to settle on me again.  As usual, I do not know what is causing it.  My whole body is aching; I feel dizzy and disorientated, which is not helping my mood at all.  I can feel my mood slipping and my patience wearing thin to the point of disappearing almost immediately.  This is resulting in my snapping at random and having outbursts towards people who do not deserve it.  That is not to say all my outbursts directed at people are not warranted though.  For example, Vick and I went shopping earlier, and I counted five cars parked in the disabled bays not displaying a badge.  A couple of people were getting out of a car and walking into the shop, and I couldn’t resist.  I said “Do you realise you’ve made my wife walk further now because you are taking up a disabled space? Are …

Read more…