sliding

Today has been an exhausting day for me mentally.  Again, I do not know why my mind does this to me.  I really wish it wouldn’t.  I woke up with a dark cloud hovering over me.  I’m starting to think I really can’t dig myself out of this one.  Maybe I don’t really want to?  I mean, the devil on my shoulder is whispering in my ear saying I should just “give up” and honestly, I find myself agreeing more and more these days. I hate myself today more than I have for a long time.  I feel like I am sliding and cannot stop myself but at the same time, on the outside at least, I am the picture of productivity.  I respond to everyone saying I am ok.  That default expression.  So meaningless to me but I how do I say internally I am wreck, adrift in a …

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