After what seems like an eternity I am beginning to rise up again. I started back at work this week and so far I’ve been coping. I’ve had a lot of support especially from family and friends but also at work too. It wasn’t easy going back though and it was even harder as the week went on. I felt I was getting drained quite easily (mentally at least) but I made it. I am sure it will get easier from here on in. I moved desks so I am closer to my friends and that has helped a lot. Lots of banter from Matthew and Annemarie in the office mixed in with Nathan is great! Chris and Deb chipping in too.
I think I’ve managed to take on a different perspective for a lot of things. Although it is very easy to see how I could slip back. Sometimes my mind drifts and I start to feel like I did before but I have been able to snap out of it so far. I also think reconnecting with friends from work past and present just before going back helped a lot too. We definitely have to make that a regular thing.
Last night I went for a meal with my Dad, Ida (my dads wife), Andrew, Sheryl, Trish and Gareth (Vicky’s parents), It was a great time and the perfect way to unwind from the first, hard week back in work. Once I got home though, I pretty much went to bed straight away. Slept better than I have for a while. Only woke up 2 or 3 times. However, I am having headaches when I get up. At least for the last few days (and no there was no drinking last night for me!)
I’m looking forward to going to Benidorm in March. Some sun, sea, fresh air and (as Gareth would say) banter is just what the doctor ordered. I’ll even order 2 teas for Andrew!
I’ll end this by saying thanks again to everyone who has helped me through this dark time. It must have been hard on you all and for that I am sorry. I am not there yet and I may never be fully there but I will fight with everything I have.