The rut

It has been about a week since I last posted and I’ll be honest, I don’t know where a lot of the week went.  Some might say that is a good thing but is it?  It is never a good thing to essentially lose part of your life.  I feel like I am on autopilot a lot of the time.  Well, most of the time if I am truthful.  I need to break the cycle and do something different with my spare time.  The trouble is deciding on what that is though.  I have some ideas as I am sure I have said before, but I never seem to either start them or have the concentration levels to stick with them.  There are some things I need to do which will (hopefully) lead to having better concentration and energy levels, and that is getting fit and losing weight.

More often than not these days I avoid looking in the mirror due to the way I look.  I am pretty disgusted by how I look, but somehow I never make a prolonged effort to change it.  Maybe I should force myself to look in the mirror more to motivate me or, more accurately, scare me into doing something about it?

Not much else to say really.  I am doing better mentally.  I am still out of the gloom, but I now find myself in this rut.  I need to break out of it before the inevitable slide back in.

I’m going to spend the rest of the day planning, relaxing and generally trying to get in the right place mentally to climb up.

1 thought on “The rut”

  1. You are not disgusting to look at at all you are a beautiful person kind and caring .
    I will help you if you want me to .never forget that I am so proud of you .
    Love you loads xx mam xx

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